“Every little boy marries someone like his mother,” is something I heard a lot growing up and to be frank the idea of this terrified me to my core. As an adult my mom and I have mended fences and developed an adult relationship that is lucky to have survived my childhood. My childhood was a balance of hidden abuse and typical middle class childhood.
On paper my childhood was pretty good over all. Was fed, clothed, and a roof kept over my head. However my parents were abusive and amoral. My late father decided his children looked like good sex toys and my mother would forget her temper and let out a slap that would leave a pretty good sized bruise. I know a good portion of you just rolled your eyes at the part of my mom slapping me and I get it some of you were punished that way and don’t see it as abuse.
Here is the difference if your mom gave you a good slap because you were getting out of line and that was how she kept you in line then chances are while not condoned these days probably wasn’t abuse. But if your mom smacked the shit out of you not caring in anyway that you were getting out of line and really just was so angry she felt the need to hurt you it was abuse. Again my mom and I have buried the hatchet so let’s move on.
These are things I don’t particularly want to dwell on but feel inform the nature of this blog. See growing up I didn’t have the best role models. As bad as my immediate family was my extended family wasn’t much better. My uncle was a registered sex offender, sensing a trend, and my paternal grandmother was a bit of a drinker and kind of mean to women namely my mom and my sister.
With all of those lame people in my life I should have been off doing drugs with my older brother, doing drugs with my younger brother, or doing drugs with my younger sister, hey she’s clean now and has three kids with her husband woohoo.
My family didn’t turn out so well is what I am saying and while that all sucks and boohoo pity party whatever that’s not the point of this blog. I was raised by TV yup just like it says up there. I grew up knowing right from wrong, I didn’t do drugs, thought smoking was uncool, and didn’t start drinking alcohol until I was 20. Forgive me I was early.
So now that we have gotten all of the messy here is what this blog means stuff out of the way I hope you will join me for the first blog. So here we go.
When I was 11 there was a show called Boy Meets World that came on the air. That is when I met Mr. Feeny. 10 years later he would say, “I love you all” and make me cry, The end. Oh wait you want more? Yeah sorry about that okay more it is.
So at the time I was in the 6th Grade and it was the first and, until it’s sequel, last time that a show came on the air where the characters were my age and going through life at the same time as me and could relate to me. So much of what was on TV either focused on the parents or on kids existing in some bubble where parents didn’t exist. For me Cory, Topanga, and Shawn were the group of friends I didn’t have at school.
For years I would watch them and even at times when I would make real friends they would be there. The show taught me what real friendship was and we may talk about that more another time but today is about Her. In Cory’s life there was Topanga that good friend that was a girl that became the love of his life. Physically and spiritually she became my type. I loved the way she looked and I loved the new agey love will conquer all thing she had going on, seriously did you know she’s a lawyer now?
I think I started scouring my school looking for girls like her because I knew Cory had himself a good thing. I never found her right away though. But I was missing a component an element of sass.
This is where I say by the shores of Dawson’s Creek. You see I am not just a Cory. I am also a Pacey Witter. I am a smart guy from a dysfunctional family who squandered much of his potential in high school and spent a long time after trying to find his calling. Through it all though was his “partner in irreverence” at least I think that’s what he said.
Joey was this smart ass smart as a whip woman that could take Pacey’s ascerbic wit and spit it right back at him. Dawson may have been the writer but there was no way he was keeping up with these two. I could see it as early as season 1 they had something special.
This isn’t about Joey or Topanga though. This is about Siobhan. See while I dropped out to get married have a kid and do a stint in the Army I did attend college for awhile.
While I was a student I had met a group of like minded outcasts who called ourselves the TableDwellers. Kiddies this was the days before there were Superhero movies before podcasting. Nerdist was just a host on a show called Guys Like us?!?! seriously Singled out was done by then? Huh what was that show about? Was it good? Damn now I have to look that up.
Oh right sorry anyway where was I. Oh yeah so okay we were freaks and geeks in the year when that show was hitting the airwaves. We were sitting at this table in one of the common areas and just hanging out all of the time. I was talking to someone whose name and face would be blasted out of my head in but a few moments. I heard a new person walk up to the table and turned to great them.
That’s when I saw Siobhan. I found myself looking her up and down taking in everything about her the way she moved the way she dressed everything. She definitely looked good if a bit preppy looking. Around her neck I was very happy to see she was wearing a pentacle and the words popped out of my mouth before I even got the chance to stop them.
“Oh wow you’re like a preppy wiccan!” guys if looks could kill I would be ghost writing this and hanging with my main man Casper. I proceeded to receive a tongue lashing the likes of which if retyped here would retroactively cause the internet to cease to exist.
I was in love. I had found my Joey Potter and Topanga all in the same person. This woman would fascinate me and frustrate me for days until she decided I was okay and hadn’t meant any harm by it. It was too late for her I was hooked and in love. Sadly your pal Jack was too stupid to speak up and they went their separate ways coming back together many times over the years.
These days she is my best friend in the world and we are planning projects together including a film I am writing for our company, Preppy Wiccan Productions, Kickstarter pending.
I just wanted in this first blog to thank her for her years of friendship and share with you how TV helped to raise me to want to marry a woman that couldn’t be more different than my mom. The only face slapping she does is when I make her facepalm.
If you liked this let me know if you didn’t and have constructive criticism also let me know. If meanwhile you absolutely hated it and feel like your hatred is so important that you must share it with me because I have somehow magically ruined your life. Damn I am good, then please also tell me. I spent 10 years in Customer Service nothing you can say will hurt.
So until next time this is Jack Faire saying if you can’t Low Five yourself then who can you Low five.